What NOT to do with Elmore boys is a guide to boys going over what NOT to do. It is done in the form of an anthology, written by Molly Collins.


Discover how to not to deal with boys in Elmore Junior High, from Molly'd point of view.

Chapter 1: Masami's Mistake

“Molly’s guide to dealing with boys: DON’TS.

Written by: Molly Collins; Typed by Penny Fitzgerald.

Hey, guys! I’m Molly, a sauropod at Elmore Junior High. Penny told me that it might be good to go over what I know about boys, and pass some things off as stories. But, WAIT. What DON’T you do in Elmore with boys? Well, I’ll tell you, but first, I should give a short description… as Cartoon network doesn’t have mine. I’m shy around others, but my friends are helping me. I am a leader amongst the tree-house girls, but I normally let the other girls, particularly Masami or Penny, take over the meetings.

Other than Jamie, I’m one of the older kids in class. Other than Leslie, I’m the best person with relationships. So, I’ll share a few things to NEVER do in Elmore to get a boy’s attention without getting a detention.

Don’t 1: NEVER say your feelings out loud for all to hear.

This is what I’m constantly asked about: can’t I just tell them my feelings, in the corridor, like a brave person? I always say NO! Why? You’ll find out in this short story about the girl who tried to state her feelings out loud for all to hear… no, Penny, it’s not you, but let me take you back…

“So, Molly,” Masami told me while we hurried down the hallway, “what you’re saying is that I need to NOT say my feelings out loud?” I shook my head; this was at least the fifth time she asked. “Nope; you can’t do that if you want to have an effective relationship with Alan,” I replied for possibly the fifth time. Masami groaned. “Why not? I’m hiding like a SISSY if I say nothing!” she yelled. I shrugged, trying not to give away my rage. “Look, if you’re going to disregard my advice like that, go ahead and tell Alan: see what happens if you’re so determined to try.”

Masami turned to me, making me stop. “Ugh! I’ll show you at lunch later on and show you how SIMPLE it is!” with that, she flew away angrily. Penny, one of my best friends, came from behind and touched my shoulder, which kind of released my rage. “Trying to give Masami advice?” she asked kindly. I nodded. “Again, someone ignores my advice,” I sighed to my friend. “Well, just because you’re older than her, she won’t think of us any higher,” Penny went on, still being kind.

I frowned at Penny, and then replied slightly happier, “You’re right. Thanks for the pep-talk, Penny.” Penny took her hand back to her side. “Anytime, Molly. We’ll just wait and see what happens at lunch.”

Yeah, thought Molly. We’ll just wait and see…

“See how I’m going to tell Alan my feelings?” Masami bragged to me in line. I groaned; younger kids could be so annoying. “You’re going to trip up and you know it,” I countered sharply. I got my salad and waited in line. Penny’s words rang around one more time: We’ll just wait and see what happens at lunch. I got out of the cafeteria and sat at the normal girls’ table, where Teri, Penny and Carrie were discussing the advantages of power. “Power, helps you feel the real bite of life,” Carrie explained hungrily. Teri seemed inquisitive, and then replied, “Carrie, authority only goes to those who deserve it.” Penny shrugged. “Power-hungriness can help you work harder, which gives you control to an extent- oh, hey, Molly.”

Carrie had her fists hovering over the table, her sharp teeth showing, but then she looked to me and stopped baring her sometimes terrifying fangs. I was slightly taken aback as I sat, As soon as I sat, Masami floated over. “Guys, have you captured Alan?” Masami asked, putting her pizza in front of her. Leslie came from the cafeteria’s other end. “Come on, Alan, we just want to say something,” assured Leslie to Alan. Alan came up, and asked in some terror, “What’s going on here?” Carmen sighed loudly from the other side of the table, and angrily hovered over her tray: I felt a pinch of sympathy: she and Alan, she told me, wouldn’t be able to be together. I looked to Masami, who hovered confidently next to Alan.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Masami flapped, her calmness chilling me bone to bone. Alan looked around with terror, and frowned, “Nothing, Masami; you guys wanted me for something, right?” Masami nodded, and I glanced back at Carmen. She seemed to have rage build up into her, and she stood in her spot, angrily grinding her teeth. “Well, Alan,” Masami continued more timidly, she faked a smile as she said, “You know what? I-“Carmen growled, and jumped at Masami. Masami, Alan and everyone, even me, screamed. Shock hit me everywhere that Carmen was to the point of actually attacking Masami.

Never being much of a fighter myself, I bent my neck to see Carmen tackling Masami. I looked up, and caught Alan dashing out of the cafeteria. Then I saw Penny jump from her seat, and Leslie follows. I watched as they dragged Carmen, still waving her arms, away. Teri helped Masami up. I put an assertive look on my face, and I looked at Masami, who was just in front of Teri. “Take that as a lesson: NEVER SAY YOUR FEELINGS OUT LOUD FOR ALL TO HEAR,” I puffed, keeping some cool in myself.

“Alright, alright,” Masami irritably gave in. Carmen’s rage seemed to have calmed down a bit, and Penny forced her away from Masami.